‘Everything changes after marriage’, I think we all have heard this phrase a little too often to ignore the fact that ‘things’ do actually change. Things like transitioning from a bachelor life to a married one, from going solo to taking care of the needs and likes of your partner, and everything in between. Marrying someone doesn’t mean you select a engagement ring or wedding ring for her and propose to her only to see her whenever you find it convenient. Marrying someone does not simply imply that you get to make love with someone you adore, but also that you agree to sharing a lifetime with someone you love – which in other words mean that you get to be their partner in crime, their crying shoulder in hard times, their punching bag, their nurse every time they end up home drunk and nauseated to being the sole reason for their happiness and the sometimes perhaps the only reason they want to come back home.
A successful marriage is a blend of many things but mostly at the core of every successful relationship there is compromise. Speaking of which, a relationship and in particular a matrimonial one needs the cooperation of both partners.If lately you have observed your love life diminishing into a mere glance of approval from your husband, a nod every now and then as you talk to him then it is time to take things into perspective and push the ‘restart’ button before it gets too late.
Here are all the things you can do to rekindle the flames of your once passionate love affair:
1. Build A Healthy Foundation
All romantic relationships go through ups and downs, your relation with your husband or wife is no exception. If you commit to your relationship, there is nothing that can weaken your bond with your husband.
- Maintain/create a meaningful emotional connection with your husband.
Make him feel that his expression of feelings is heard and understood. Valuing opinions, giving unconditional positive regard and empathizing can really help strengthen the bond you have with your husband. Make him feel loved, not just in love.
- Spend Face to Face Quality Time.
Remember how you both went for selecting your wedding ring together? How you used to wait for him outside every morning after office so he could pick you up and you both could go out. Even if you are busy, take out time for your husband. Go for a cup of coffee on a cold winter day, snuggle up to each other, tell him on the way that you are lucky to have him as a partner and that one day he is going to father your offspring. You know, the key lies in making him happy, sometimes men get beaten down by everything that is asked of them from a stable job to looking after the family, from paying bills to returning loans. The pressure is real and amidst all this, they need a supportive partner more than anything.
- Don’t levy all your needs on your partner.
If you want to keep him happy don’t overwhelm him with all your emotional needs. Expecting too much from your partner often puts a strain on one’s relationship.
- Get him presents.
Who doesn’t like gifts that come off as surprise and without reason? I mean is there a better form of expression of your love for someone? If he is into rings get him a nice titanium steel ring, if he is into perfumes get him a nice perfume and cologne set, if he is into nice button down shirts get him one each month or every other month so every time he dresses up he thinks of you. Doing little gestures like these strengthen the bond husband and wife share.
2. You Are Starting A Family
Having children should never be seen as an excuse to neglect your husband. No, your husband too is equally important for you as are your children so give him his due time when he comes back home from work. Dress up nicely before he is coming back. Put on some nice perfume, and maybe set a day every week where your husband and you can enjoy the silence of a secluded dinner date away from the shrieking and banging and cluttering of things.
3. Make Sure You Make Love To Him
Make love to him, don’t force it. Call it love and treat it like one. It is not merely the ‘interchanging of bodily fluids’ because with that mindset you are going nowhere with your husband. It is true that as a wife and as a partner your responsibilities can sometimes get overwhelming with kids, job and housekeeping but maintaining a balance is all a part of this job that you said yes to as you walked down the aisle.
Discuss it with your partner, so you both can come to a consensus and don’t have to rush it. Make it interesting, make it creative and make it memorable. Light up your room with his favorite scented candles, wear nice clothes and just enjoy the night.
4. Golden Rule
We talked about sharing responsibilities, compromising on things and making love, but all this goes to waste if you are respectful of your partner. Respect only comes after trust, so unless you can trust your partner for who they are, you never really can have a successful marriage and having a romantic one is really a far cry.
So, be mindful of the little things you do and say. Respect your partner’s privacy, his habits, his likes dislikes only because you love him. Show him that you care about the things he cares about because lord you are madly in love with this human being.
Now you know how to maintain a romantic relationship with your husband, so hurry away and start prepping for this thanksgiving as the turning point for your love life.